Release and expand yourself.
It is very likely that you’ve heard of forgiveness and gratitude before, you might have read about it or discussed it with the people you know, and most probably you have had people in your life that you needed to forgive and situations and people in your life that you were grateful for. But what does this really mean forgiveness and gratitude?
Forgiveness, you could say, is an expression of love. Through our forgiveness of another or ourselves, we can see the other or ourselves through the eyes of compassion, understanding and acceptance. We see the other or ourselves for who we truly are. Forgiveness is about letting go of the resentment towards another or ourselves, and allowing us to be free. Through the understanding of the concept of being one consciousness, we can then see that in truth, forgiveness is actually the forgiveness of oneself. Forgiveness thereby heals the perception of being separated. It is liberating, and although sometimes the ego might translate it as a loss, in fact it is our salvation.
Why do we need forgiveness?
Forgiveness is also about taking back our power and freedom, through the act of taking responsibility. It is about freeing ourselves of the burden and weight on our back. It removes certain blockages that might have been created in our system, and it helps us to let go of grudge, grief, anger, hate, vengefulness, upset, sadness, judgement and anything keeping us from being at peace. It is a prison wherein we keep the other, but even more important, also ourselves a prisoner. So if we cannot forgive the other, due to the amount of pain they have caused us, it would be good to forgive the other just for ourselves, so we ourselves can be free.
Forgiveness is not something to take lightly, or something easy we do overnight, there is not a quick fix here, we cannot fake forgiveness. The act of forgiveness needs to be a felt sense, not just a rational decision. In most cases forgiveness will take time, we might first need to express and release our anger, hate, frustration, upset, sadness, hurt or any kind of built up tension, before we can even think of forgiveness. It is absolutely not about forgetting, it is about first acknowledging our hurt, and when we are ready, giving away and forgiving the resentment, hate, anger and all what is affecting us in the now and keeping us a prisoner. It is not about submission, it is about reconciliation, we simply refuse to return evil with evil, or pain with pain. We still express our pain, and stand for and protect our boundaries and personal safety, but we don’t allow the other to take away the love in our heart and our peace of mind.
The act of forgiveness unifies ourselves and others, it brings harmony for everyone involved. This for the release of the other, but most importantly for the release of ourselves and for our own freedom. It will take a lot of courage, but it is an amazing gift, that in turn we give to ourselves.
Gratitude, is also an expression of love, it is an act and a felt sense of being truly grateful. Gratitude opens the heart, it breaks down all the walls of rigidness, and it truly humbles us. It is a way to appreciate the other, ourselves and all of our experience here, and a way to really take a moment to express this feeling of gratefulness. Being grateful for another, instantly connects the souls, it softens and connects the hearts. And in truth it is an act of vulnerability, where we truly see, hear and acknowledge the other without wanting anything in return.
Why do we need gratitude?
Gratitude and therefore being grateful, of another, of ourselves, or our experience and existence itself, instantly brings us in a state of happiness, and it changes our state of being. It enhances the value of another, and due to the fact of us all being one and interconnected, this in turn enhances our own value. It is an expression of love that has instant effect on our own well being and our personal life. You could say, our happiness, our health, our experience of prosperity and abundance are a direct result of being in a state of gratitude and appreciation. Some studies even show that through practicing gratitude on a daily basis, this will in turn extend our lifespan.
Gratitude is about sharing appreciation and acknowledging others and all of creation in an act of humble gratefulness, which opens the heart and connects one and other, and reminds us of the truth of being one being. Instead of complaining and bringing ourselves, another and life itself down into misery, we can choose happiness. Which for a great deal, is based on our ability to be grateful and appreciative, of ourselves, others and all of our experience.
How can practicing forgiveness and gratitude affect our lives?
Practicing forgiveness and gratitude will increase one’s sense of fulfillment, contentment and stimulate our overall sense of happiness. It literally rewires our brain, it takes us out of old patterns and ways of being, neurologically creating new pathways, which will in turn reflect as new pathways in our life. Science shows us that practicing forgiveness and gratitude have an instant effect on our well being, for instance, it lowers our blood pressure, it will decrease chronic pains, we experience an increase in energy and vitality level which allows us to have a longer life. Besides this, it increases the dopamine and serotonin levels in our brain which work as a natural antidepressant, we will experience a higher self esteem and pass this onto others, we will exhibit pro social and pro service behavior and mindset. It activates the bliss centre of the brain, in this way we train our mind to be more positive, more realistic, without the clouds of pessimism, and we are more capable of facing upheavals. All encounters in life are relativized more easily and everything is seen more clearly, and through this positive state of being and mind set, we continuously create more of it.
How to practice forgiveness and gratitude?
Forgiveness:
When we speak of practicing forgiveness, there are different ways of doing so, which in turn all result in forgiving oneself, due to the fact of us all being one Self. When we have acted out towards another or made mistakes in the past, it would be recommended to take responsibility for our actions.
You could for example, write the person you have hurt an email, a letter or any form of message. It is very important that you have a felt sense of remorse for your actions, and not just an idea of being wrong. Try to place yourself in the position of the other, how it was for them to experience what you did. Express how you believe it must have felt for the other to go through what happened. Really see the other and feel how it must have been for them. If you are no longer in close contact with the other, you can still write a letter and pour out how you feel about what happened and again how it must have been for the other, connect with your heart and really see and acknowledge the other. In this way from a distance, you might help the other to let go of the pain and resentment, and for yourself to make a new start.
When we have been the victim of the trespassing of another ourselves, or if we have been hurt by another in any way, it will be helpful to first express this pain, hurt, anger, hate or any other emotion related to the person or situation. In this way we can first release, and express our deepest hurt. This might take time, it might even take a lifetime, as we said before there is no way to fake forgiveness, there is no quick fix. At some point it will come from a felt sense, when the moment is right for you. You then might be able to confront the other, through writing a letter, an email or a simple message. You might want to express, without charge, how it was for you and how it affected you and your life. And when, and if you are ready, you might even be able to forgive the other, and through this act of forgiveness free the other and of course most importantly free yourself from the prison of resentment. If you don’t want to be faced or have any form of contact with the other, maybe you can write a letter or an email without sending it. In this way you will still allow yourself to vent what is on your mind and heart, and express how it was for you and what you have been through, and through this process release yourself of the burden. And as we have said before, if there seems to be some difficulty in forgiving the other, maybe we can make room to forgive the other for ourselves, to free ourselves, as all forgiveness in truth is forgiveness of oneself.
Gratitude:
When we speak of practicing gratitude, there are different ways to express ourselves. We can celebrate our personal accomplishments, and those of others. We can simply give someone a smile in passing or a compliment, or just simply by expressing the words thank you. Or by being thankful and grateful towards ourselves, our loved ones, our friends, the work that we do, the food that we eat, our brothers and sisters crossing or present on our path of life and anything we are happy and grateful for. We can give to others, in acknowledging, and being appreciative of others, and give others our approval and confirmation. As we said before, our happiness is based on our ability to be grateful, of ourselves, our brothers and sisters and all of creation. So instead of wasting time on complaining or bringing others down, we can see how we can help others.
As an act of gratitude we can contribute, volunteer, share, make people laugh, give compliments in abundance, open our hearts and lift the spirit of others, which in turn will uplift our own. We can even spend some time on writing down all the people in our life and all the things we are grateful for, and express our appreciation, and how we admire them. We can compliment others on their skills, accomplishments, qualities or simply for being who they are, for being in our life and what they mean to us. If we give our attention to others, see another and truly hear them we are in turn acknowledging ourselves.
And besides this, we can be grateful for every moment in our life, even the painful one’s, as all has a function in the universe and it made us the person we are today. Therefore in any suitable way, it is highly recommended to express gratitude on a daily basis. Being grateful for others and all of creation, is in turn being grateful of oneself.